


No Longer Him

by gracedwithchaos



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 01:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracedwithchaos/pseuds/gracedwithchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tony stared at the place where Loki used to be. He wasn't there anymore. It wasn't Loki, just a body that looked like him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Longer Him

 Tony stared at the place where Loki used to be. He wasn't there anymore. It wasn't Loki, just a body that looked like him. It was the same when his parents died. He couldn't even cry over the body. Because it wasn't him. This body hadn't called him an idiot more times than he could count. This body hadn't whispered the sweetest nothings and yelled the most painful of insults. This _body_ hadn't _thrown Tony_ out of a _fucking window!_

He didn't realize he was talking out loud until Steve wrapped an arm around him and Thor put a hand on his shoulder. Neither said anything, but neither had to. Both understood. Steve pulled away and Thor put a giant hand on each of Tony's arms, “My brother would not wish for you to be so sad, Man of Iron.”

“Yeah, he would,” Tony said, “Vain bastard,” were it possible, he would have made it rain over everyone around the funeral pyre Thor later set up. Loki was dramatic like that. Tony didn't say that, though, he just looked on with dry eyes.

He would cry later. In their room, sobbing over the empty bed and the little things Loki had left behind. Because that was what he had of Loki now. The helmet. Some clothes. The things that Loki was permanently moving to a “more useful” place than where Tony had set them down. But here, he would not cry. Here, he was Iron Man. He would cry when he was Tony again.

Years passed. All of Loki's things were either returned to Asgard, or put in boxes and moved to the storage areas of the Tower. Their bed, though still had Loki's green comforter on it and some nights, Tony imagined he could still smell his god.

That first month, Tony had drained the Tower's supply of alcohol and Pepper stole his credit cards so he couldn't buy more. Sure, he could have thought of a way to get some – he was Tony Stark, after all – but he didn't. Something about Natasha waiting on the couch with a gun to check his purchases made him wary.

It took time for Tony to get back to really being Tony. He'd partied harder, gotten more drunk, and become more reckless than ever before, but he got better. He became a part of the Avengers again, he was allowed to make decisions regarding Stark Industries and Rhodey stopped patrolling his parties in full War Machine gear.

One day, years after Loki's death, Iron Man and a group of the Avengers were fighting a low-level wizard. They'd grown since the Chitauri invasion and having the whole team both live in the Tower and fight every threat they faced was ridiculous. Thor barely showed up anymore, choosing to spend most of his time with Jane Foster. Clint and Natasha had gotten married and they'd moved out once Natasha had gotten pregnant. Something about refusing to raise a kid around a bunch of super heroes. Nobody really blamed them.

Most recently, they'd added in a kid from New York who went around calling himself Spiderman. The news reporters didn't like him since he only let one photographer ever take pictures of him, but they didn't like Hawkeye or Black Widow either.

Hawkeye also didn't like Spiderman. The two kept bickering back and forth and Tony was fed up with them. He was sure that Natasha wouldn't put up with it either, but it was her and Clint's kid's first Parent-Teacher Interview. Tony wasn't sure why they needed one for kindergarten, but Natasha had refused to have Alex be the only kid whose parents weren't there, so she'd gone while Clint had “played superhero.” Her words, not Tony's.

“Iron Man,” a voice knocked Tony from his thoughts and he fired his repulsers at the magician. For a second, Tony thought he recognized that voice, as well as the bright green eyes of the wizard, even as the blasts from his repulsers bounced off the shield around him. Maybe he wasn't so low-level after all. A smile broke out over the too-familiar face as the wizard taunted, “Can you not do better than that?”

Green magic surrounded Tony and his suit was pulled closer to the black-haired wizard. The helmet retreated and Tony was grabbed by the throat before being forcefully thrown backwards and through a window. That was the second time in his life that Tony had been defenestrated in that particular manner.

Tony had heard about the reincarnation of the Asgardian gods even before Loki's death. But it wasn't like turning over an hourglass. The person didn't start again right after they died. Sometimes, it was years before the god was reincarnated. Other times, time got fucked up and the person was reincarnated to a time before they died. Either way, it wouldn't be Loki. Not Tony's Loki. Not his God of Lies.

This did have him wonder, though.


End file.
